A Picture-Perfect Weekend

Ah Blog, how I have neglected you this past few days! Don’t think I haven’t thought about you, believe me I have, but the Tiny Acorns took a back seat (in fact it didn’t make it into the car!) as family life took over. Ah family life, the weekends spent chasing a kite along Dunstable Downs or walking the perfectly groomed golden retriever in St Albans Park with two perfect blonde children chasing a bouncy red balloon.

OK, reality check, it’s 2011 and we don’t live in picture-perfect worlds!!

My weekend started quite normally – classes finished Friday (which were, incredibly busy – nice!). Girls fed, bathed and in bed by 8pm, nice. 8.10pm, eldest gets up with ‘tummy ache’ – ‘here we go’ we mutter to each other. This of course has NOTHING to do with Grandad coming to fit the new washing machine – which incidentally fitted into the back of the new Chrysler perfectly thus justifying this rather extravagant purchase further by a) saving a delivery fee and b) ensuring we could do laundry within 24 hours of the old machine dying a rather painful sounding death (even before I had kicked it for being a ‘stupid’ machine). However, eldest eventually admits defeat and returns to bed with Blossom (see previous ramblings!).

New machine fitted, old one unceremoniously deposited in the garden, the three of us sat in the warm evening mulling over the virtues of eBay – hassle vs space vs money to be made vs why do people buy the junk and never bid on the good stuff?!

Saturday was Saturday Squirrels followed by a Birthday Party booking, return home to laundry, housework…need I go on? You get the idea!

Saturday night: the night we go out, drink ourselves silly and party till the wee small hours?! No, we watched Dynamo (the most awesome magician I have ever seen – please Dynamo don’t do the whole David Blaine eye thing, I couldn’t handle the confusion again), ate a chocolate cake designed for four with enough cream to feed six. I felt sick before he did, but neither would give in. I regretted this decision shortly after, feeling rather green I went to bed at the ungodly hour of, yes you got it, 11pm. What a boring life I seem to lead.

7am Sunday, I am woken by the eldest deciding it’s time to play hairdressers which basically means I’m going to get my hair brushed – which loosely translates to ‘I’ll get the brush stuck in your hair Mummy then watch you try to tease it out’. This was momentarily preceded by Caddick (the smaller and yet more demanding of our two cats) sitting on my head and needling me with his perfectly manicured claws. OK, OK you want breakfast, I get it – people only want me for food or nappy changes in this house. I eventually give up and head downstairs to find Husband unusually cheery especially as he is working today (hang on, is that why he’s cheery?!). Anyhow, with him off to work I decide attack is my best form of defense today. By 11am I have the 7 loads of laundry on the line, the new Tiny Acorns Admin Manager has been trained, the Tiny Acorns Membership logins are issued, the database is updated, the membership cards are printed, the big surprise for Tiny Acorns classes attendees is designed and planned (can’t reveal just what yet), beds are made, all of us are dressed, and I’ve eaten four bourbons and consumed two diet cokes.

Immediate decision to pack everyone (including Nannie Joan) into the car and go to Whipsnade Zoo. Upon arrival the skies open up so the picnic is consumed in the car. We eventually make it into the zoo with mostly wasps for company. Having forgotten the new wasp deterrent spray (seen it yet? If not, ask me!) and with two children to consider (let alone my absolutely rational fear of the little wotsits … the wasps not the children), we endured a sealion show where I fear any low flying aircraft may have tried to land with all my arm waving.

Upon arrival home, said laundry is now dripping on the line and the new washing machine makes a sound like a decrepit steam train (cue Dad coming to the rescue after Tiny Acorns in Berkhamsted on Monday).

Rapid Sunday night tidy-up, fed and bathed the girls, and finally we sit down for a Sunday night curry (see there is some excitement in our life!) before I head back to the office to complete the ever-growing ‘to do’ list. The end result? It’s 11pm, I’ve worked hard but only managed a few things on my list, and, it’s time to call it a night to prepare for Tiny Acorns in the morning.

I take it back, mine – though not to everyone’s taste – is a picture-perfect world!